You know you are Mauritian when... - Radio Moris Sega Music Mauritius Ile Maurice

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  #1 (permalink)  
Vieux 22/03/2005, 11h29
Avatar de DJ El-Syd
Fan RM
Date d'inscription: mai 2004
Localisation: London, UK
Messages: 1 098
You know you are Mauritian when...


Your house smells like rougaille, briyani or carri poule.
When you tell your parents you got 98% marks in an exam, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
When your parents insist that as you understand creole, you should get an A in GCSE French.
You make The Bois Cheri, NOT PG tips.
Your parents never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
You turn up at terminal 3 at the Air Mauritius check in with everything but the kitchen sink.
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
You call an older person you've never met before "Tonton" or “Uncle” and then have to kiss him and his wife – “Tantine” or “Auntie” (coz she remembered you when you were so tall).
You hide everything from your parents including the bottles of Green Island and bottles of Phoenix.
You do all the housework and cooking if you are female and your Mum insists on singing your praises once you’ve graduated so she can marry you off or worse still, puts your graddie pic in Mauritius News or some other local Mauritian newspaper in your neighbourhood.
Your relatives alone could populate a small city. And we’re not just talking Rose Hill.
Everyone is a family friend.
You study medicine or engineering at university but your parents came over in the 60’s 70's to either do:
a) psychiatric nursing and then go on to own a nursing home
b) accountancy
c) work for British Airways
d) work for London Underground.
You were not that intelligent so you studied Computer science or business instead.
(hey!) You went to a university as far away from home as possible and felt dead proud when you cooked rougaille for the first time BUT You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
You like the meat in your ladobe well done.
You use chilli sauce (mazavarou) instead of tomato ketchup.
You say you hate Indian films (/songs) coz you're Mauritian but secretly watch (/hear) them with your Parents.
On an application form, you state your ethnic origin as "other" and put down Mauritian.
You teach Westerners swear words in your language – favourite being "L*ki Tor Ma" because it sounds like Chicken Korma.
You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex in case “Tantine” sees you and tells your folks.
You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the Sir Seewoosagur Ramgoolam International Airport, Mauritius, and you see all possible members of your family who have come to pick you up AND because the guys at customs are "famille", they let you through anyway with all your excess luggage as long as you slip them a bottle of Teachers.
You get very upset when Air Mauritius refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs overweight and so decide to bribe Mr Vel Rengasamy (the guy in charge of Air Mauritius at Heathrow Airport, UK) with a present.
You go back to Mauritius and people treat you like a member of the royal family by stuffing your face with gateaux Piments, Dhall puri (from Dewa & Sons), Eski and gateaux Neapolitan.
You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.
You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go in order to not put dirt over Tantine and Tonton’s new carpet.
You have annoying nicknames but they tend to be “mackrel, makro, fesse and / or ti p*tin.
Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids AND they are always doing better than you ("garçon là ena enn top job").
No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
Your parents drive a car with a big red ribbon on the mirror to “tire moffinn”.
Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor or engineer.

If you're good looking, you are classed as "bien" or "Jolie" - if you're dark you are either one of the following:
a) brune
b) un peu brulé
c) noir
d) or the best: "li éna un peu coleur MAIS lékèr là propre et claire"

If you’re a bloke the likelihood is that you will be called one of the following: Jason, Kevin, Reuben, Steven or Darren...
And if you’re a girl: Vanessa, Sabrina, Pamela, Priscilla, Sabina or Lorna...

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  #2 (permalink)  
Vieux 22/03/2005, 12h40
Avatar de zazaluv
Fan RM
Date d'inscription: juin 2004
Messages: 816
Ehhh couma to conne mo prénom avec mo zistoire toi???

faire moi envie manze napolitaine
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  #3 (permalink)  
Vieux 22/03/2005, 13h24
Avatar de SegaMan
Date d'inscription: août 2003
Localisation: Edinburgh - Scotland
Messages: 353
Your parents drive a car with a big red ribbon on the mirror to “tire moffinn”

Your parents drive a car with a gaudy, red and gold plastic box on the dashboard or at the back. It keeps the Kleenex tissues nice and tidy...
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  #4 (permalink)  
Vieux 22/03/2005, 13h44
Avatar de zazaluv
Fan RM
Date d'inscription: juin 2004
Messages: 816
moi cé qui mo content... ptit là rentre la case, fier parski miss ine mette 9.5 lors 10 dans so cahier pou so test et so papa dire li "mais kifer to pas fine gagne dix lors dix!!!!!!"
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  #5 (permalink)  
Vieux 22/03/2005, 17h32
Avatar de Jaz
Jaz Jaz est déconnecté
Date d'inscription: janvier 2005
Localisation: London
Messages: 395
zazaluv to fer mwa mazine mo papa la..amen mover resiltat gagne critik meme,,bon resultat si mo sorti premier dan 1 sujet lasi papa dir be point la tro tigit sa,

couma dir mo ti bizin sorti avant avant premier, fouffff,,,

Syd merci,mone lire seki tone ekrir ek 1 gran sourire
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  #6 (permalink)  
Vieux 26/03/2005, 07h23
Avatar de bb2iles
Date d'inscription: mai 2004
Localisation: paris
Messages: 172
Bravo to finne confirmer ce qui nous finne douter toujours lors nous vrai mentalité.mo finne lire ça avec ene grand
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  #7 (permalink)  
Vieux 05/03/2006, 03h37
Avatar de SheHzaD555
Super Fan RM
Date d'inscription: mars 2004
Messages: 2 969
Most Mauritians are related to you in some way or other that
only your dad can figure out
Sanla pa p bate carte narien mo fine trouve 1 mari exemple devant mo em
1 mam appele krishna
line passe sorpa so mine lor telephone
ala papa la ma dire ine prend place krishna
pops ine reste coze ek mine la lor telephone
couma kozer dir tou dimune fami dan moris
ala vraimem pops ine alle resi trouve bane simer kot mine la rente fami

Ban zenes fer bien attension next time si zot ek 1 mine prend compte la route la
attension mine la kan ale fer kalkile li tombe ma dire mama so cousine
ou plis pire encore belle soeur so voisine lol

mo saisi locasion pou fer 1 ti alo aux freres cheech & chong ainsi que zot pops
Mr Pimp Daddy

"mettre la feu"
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  #8 (permalink)  
Vieux 22/04/2006, 11h30
Avatar de DJ El-Syd
Fan RM
Date d'inscription: mai 2004
Localisation: London, UK
Messages: 1 098
You know you are Mauritian when...

You know you’re Mauritian when:

Your parents think you’re doing you’re homework…. But you’re on msn.

You have ‘Mauritius’ T-shirts with sunsets and dolphins and a stash of Ralph Lauren shirts from that factory everyone goes to.

There’s a karom board lodged in a corner of your house somewhere.

The only time you play karom is in Mauritius… and it hurt your fingers/nails when you play it.

You have an uncle who’s like, a karom champion.

You've got uncles and cousins back home who are badminton champions.

Your favourite food is Rougaille but you tell all your white friends ‘Spaghetti Bolognese’

You have sega music on your computer.

Your parents secretly know how to dance sega… and so do you…. Well its not hard now is it? Alalilaaaaa

You have bare fresh cousins flocking into England saying they come to study but end up dossing and partying more than you.

What is it with the brides’ make-up at weddings? TALK ABOUT DULUX BRILLIANT WHITE PAINT.

You’ve tried ‘Fair and Lovely’ cream at some point and so has all your cousins but it dried out your skin/ gave you a rash, so you thought…..hmmm no.

You haven’t told anyone you tried ‘Fair and Lovely’.

The biryani at your uncles wedding was done by a guy called ‘Ti Bhai’

The biryani at all British Mauritian weddings you’ve been to was overcooked with more elaichee and kanel than rice.

Every family occasion consists of biryani followed by lamousse.

You don’t really like lamousse yet get forced to eat the filling dessert after being stuffed with biryani.

Biryani and lamousse always taste better in Mauritius.

Your parents already start buying stuff to bring for family in Mauritius a year before they actually go.

Mauritius family never bring anything truly decent when they come to England… apart from… fruit cristalisé, piment confi, those twiggy crisps, vanilla tea, zasaar, aaaaaaaaand of course BOXES OF KRAFT CHEDDAR CHEESE.

Kraft cheddar is the only cheese you eat and there’s always a stash of boxes that never seem to finish somewhere in the fridge or a cupboard.

You get really excited when you hear about a Mauritian party somewhere because it gives you warm sense of identity on the inside but yet go to check our the opposite sex and hope they’re not your cousin.

Most Mauritians are related to you in some way or other that only your dad can figure out.

Your mum/dad call Mauritius using cheap phonecards at like 6:00hrs in the morning so that “la ligne la Claire”… and they still spend half an hour trying to figure out who they’re talking to…

You’re family from Mauritius never seem to call England though.

You’re parents drink tea almost every hour and you’ve been taught to make it since you was like 2 years old.

Tea in Mauritius always tastes better.

(Muslims-) How excited did you get when eating the “Halal KFC” and Pizza Hut and McDonalds when back home??

There’s never a weekend where ‘kompanyé’ don’t randomly turn up.

Your dad and uncles, and all your family back in Mauritius either support Liverpool or Man United….yet if you’re a girl, you support Arsenal… Only because of Freddie Ljungberg and Thierry Henry…

There’s valeez on top of your wardrobe… and there are ribbons on the handles because that’s the only way your mum believes she will recognise them, but they so tatty you can spot the suitcases a mile off anyways.

Your whole generation comes to see you in the week before you go to Mauritius…. But only because they want you to take parcels back home for them “to capav amenn en ti parcel pour mo MAMA!!”

Your luggage is like a tonne overweight but yet your parents argue with check-in people.

Your dad then tries to find someone Mauritian working at the airport that he supposedly knows.

You’re one of the only Mauritian people on the plane…and have more hand luggage than everyone else put-together.

That’s because you’re taking so many random gift requests when going there and bringing back so much zasaar and piment confi that leaks when returning.

The whole of Mauritius comes to pick you up from the Mahebourg airport upon arrival.

The first things uncles and aunties in Mauritius say when they see you is “guette kuma linn vinn grand” and “qui class to pé faire?”

Mosquitoes, especially with chikungunya flourishing at the moment, suck the living daylights out of your Europeanised blood.

The whole of Mauritius comes to drop you off at the airport when you’re returning to England….and you always go 6 hours before the plane departs then just doss around the airport after checking-in… and still manage to be late boarding the plane.

You travel only by Air Mauritius or British Airways or as a last resort Air France… economy class of course… tickets from a Mauritian travel agent in London… Goldwing or Imbel… so that their cheaper…yeah right.

Your parents are always shocked by how quickly Mauritius “pé dévlopé” yet you still think its look exactly the same since the last time you went… the year before…

All your uncles in Mauritius are always going to Singapore and Malaysia for business.

Your families in Mauritius think you’re richer than the queen just because you live in the UK.

You normally slag off Britain but when they call you “anglais potiss” in Mauritius you get very defensive and

Your mum gets excited when she sees part of a Bollywood film shot in Mauritius and thinks she can see your uncle’s house.

You know the words to the big Bollywood tunes without having a clue what they mean.

You will only be found watching Indian films with subtitles.

You just can’t get enough of good old Mauritian Dhal Pourri.

Your parents think Thermogene (vapour rub) is the cure for everything.

Whenever you’re ill, random aunties give some next style remedies “bouille inpé crésson et kraz zinzam, lerlà to boire li sek”

How many vieux pairs of sulyé and savat are in the cupboard under the stairs?

You love to eavesdrop if you can hear people speaking Creole in a public place…and you feel like your part of some secret society because you can understand what they’re saying.

You have that random filthy rich uncle somewhere in the suburbs who has 10 cars and a 10 bedroom house or a nursing home or hotel… and the only family occasion they would turn up to is a rare wedding.

You have either live or have family in Manchester, Maidstone, Dartford, Croydon, Tooting, Walthamstow, Wood Green, Tottenham, Edmonton, Chingford, Leyton or Finsbury Park…

This version was at some point adapted by a Mauritian Brother from Walthamstow when he was bored…

Well... if you can think of anything else, please don’t be shy to send it in…


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  #9 (permalink)  
Vieux 21/06/2010, 22h34
Date d'inscription: juin 2010
Messages: 2
Talking truly mauricien

i really enjoyed wat u wrote. keep it up..
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